jasonackerman.com

Waiting on a crazy huge upload to complete, figured now is as good a time as any to throw down a little blogging, quick update style.

I’ve been trying to make progress on a couple different web projects, mostly so I can get them invoiced so I can stop the avalanche of utility disconnections that are soon to come my way. It’s a finely orchestrated dance, the freelance gig. Sometimes I love it… times like now, I really don’t love it so much. But, progress is being made and work is being completed.

I’m working on a sermon for next weekend about the church… that’s it – just, “The Church”. It’s part of a series that is covering some doctrinal basics. I’m really excited about this one, and I think the main thrust of it is going to be – “Does your heart beat for the church?”. See, because, the thing is… mine does. Not turning blindly from the errors and miscues and lapses in judgment and excesses in judgment and vile atrocities done in the name of the church, but in spite of them. Knowing that the church is filled with disgusting, messy people that have created a disgusting, messy history. Still, I can’t get past – none of us who are a part of the church should be able to get past – the reality that the church is the Bride of Christ, presented to him blameless and holy.

I’ve had a few friends in the past who have said that after growing up in the church, they remain spiritual and still seek God, but no longer find the church relevant. Apparently, they think it is so messed up that not even God is interested anymore. This saddens me, because if God so easily gave up on the church, then who’s to say He won’t give up on me? It just doesn’t jive to me that someone could so coldly turn away from that which God so clearly loves, and yet still try to sneak in the back door and claim a deep love for God. It’s as if someone walks up to me and says, “You know, I like you. I enjoy your company. I want to get to know you better. But I really don’t see the relevance of your wife. She doesn’t belong, doesn’t really reflect the same values you do, and to be frank, she’s pissed me off one too many times. But enough of that, shall we go grab some dinner, maybe a movie?” How fast does Jason call BS on that? Really. Freaking. Fast. Because it’s not just a ridiculous thing to say, it’s downright offensive. And hurtful. Imagine the hurt God feels when we disparage the church so brazenly. Critique? Yes. Call to the carpet when something is obviously wrong? Heck yes. But turn our backs and reject her so callously? No way. Not a chance.

So I’m looking forward to the talk. It will be fun to take a look at how the church began, and explore why God would create an institution that seems so riddled with problems. And to explore what we can do to make things better.

Well, I thought a little blogging would use up the time, but this upload is taking way too long. I guess I’ll go to bed and clean up the mess in the morning. Peace out.

He who hesitates is a damned fool. – Mae West

Yeah, that’s right, I quoted Mae freakin’ West on my blog. Get over it.

Just to lighten the mood of this post, here’s a beautiful shot of the sunset from the 4th of July, taken by my lovely wife.

So here’s the thing… you’d think by that photo that we live all up on the farm, in some rural hicktown where we have to drive 30 minutes to get to the general store and the air smells of cow-generated methane all day. But it’s not true. When I say we live at the very edge of the suburbs, this is what I mean. Turn 180 degrees from the view of this photo, and it’s matching rooflines and manicured lawns as far as the eye can see. We were on our way to the Broomfield 4th of July extravaganza, and this was the sunset we got to see. I love how the clouds obscure the sun, creating the cool ray patterns at the top, and the mountains that just an hour before were in clear focus – trees, snow and rocky ridgelines all easy to see – are just a dark purple silhouette.

More obsessive thinking about the church plant stuff. Not sure why this has taken over my thoughts lately… but it seems like I’m constantly stirring these things around in my head. There are just so many things to consider, I feel like I’m continually trying to sort them out, even if I’m technically doing something else entirely. Right now, I’m mulling over the multi-site thing… the idea of having a “campus”, or secondary location, of the same church. There are some benefits to it… there are also some benefits to planting and growing a new organic church from the ground up. Here’s the angle I’m thinking about the most right now. Since I believe in a new church benefiting from a wider base of support (many churches, individuals, and organizations collaboratively supporting its growth), is it possible to accomplish that wide base of support with a multi-site church? Or, perhaps more accurately stated, will other churches and organizations be as enthusiastic about supporting a campus? Or, restated one more time with my bias fully included, why would they support something that really seems more like an internal initiative than a reproductive extension? I’m not sure if it’s as big a deal as I’m making it. I will say… this combined with concern that a campus brings too much DNA that is geographic and culture specific into a new geography and new culture is one of my major roadblocks toward understanding the value of the campus.

But that’s all I have for now. I’m thinking of starting a new blog (I know, I know. Another blog?) just to explore this issue… simply because I know there are TONS of other people and churches having this same conversation, and I’d like to benefit from experience on all sides of the issue.

Now, I must head out to pick up a check from a client. Payment is good, it makes our world go around.

It’s been an interesting day of self-evaluation… not personally so much as on a larger, more family-oriented level. Specifically, trying to figure out what in our family dynamic has changed that has made our kids turn into little monsters (in the monstrous way, not the affectionate way). Trying to figure out what our church-planting journey looks like, fitting the pieces of that together with being at Jacob’s Well… or, more succinctly, knowing that we belong in both worlds, and what that fit looks like. Trying to figure out how on earth we can continue to push the budgetary limits to the very last penny and still come out with our heads above water. Right now we’re underwater, holding our breath and feeling the burn in the lungs. But we haven’t drowned yet, and we don’t expect to.

Taking the issues in order – with our kids, it feels like our free-wheeling lifestyle has let things slowly slip into a state of managed chaos. This is fun for a while, but doesn’t sustain in the long term. Not sure how we’ll tackle that one just yet.

The church-planting stuff is a much more abstract sort of quandary. At times I feel like we’ve lost focus on why we came here to begin with. All these different options that are close to what we’re after, but not quite there. Jacob’s Well has been great, and it continues to be great, and I have no reason to believe it will cease to be great… but along with it comes temptation to just move over to Thornton and live the suburban life. And to be fair, we could probably do just fine with that. We could live in community with people, loving and serving and letting our kids grow up in the town where I spent my childhood. But that’s not where we belong. We KNOW that. We didn’t come here to live the suburban life – heck, we could have done that just fine in Vancouver. We came here to be a part of seeing a community of faith sprout and grow in the urban core of Denver. So there’s that tightrope… that tension of being where we are, and dually focused on where we’re going. And the dual focus is tough to maintain for any period of time. The struggle is how to manage that in a way that honors Jacob’s Well and the relationship and commitments we’ve made, while simultaneously moving toward the task to which God has called us.

That’s been the day… mostly thinking and talking about that stuff. Introspection is fun. But now I need a break.

It’s hard to disagree. We were at the Museum of Nature and Science, and on the west side they have a terrace which looks out over downtown and the Rockies are in the distance. I didn’t have a tripod with me, but I thought the only way to even catch a glimpse of this view is with a panoramic shot. So with no tripod, and about 45 minutes in photoshop to manually stitch together the poorly aligned shots, here’s the view of our great city from the Museum of Nature and Science, 4th level, looking west towards downtown. On the very right (north), you can barely make out the water towers of Westminster and Thornton. If you look close enough, you can also spot all my stitches. The photos didn’t go together too well in parts, but I think I recovered nicely. Enjoy. Click on the tiny version below for the larger (approx 4000 pixels) version.

apparently, it’s time for me to throw down a general notes post, since i let so much time pass between entries. so in the spirit of short attention spans, we now present to you “notes from the monster files – a snapshot of recent days”.

• we went to a broncos game last week. it was one of the coolest things ever. photos to be found here.
• i’ve had several meetings with various pastors and church planters, and things are beginning to come into focus. there are still some major considerations to work through, but the reality of planting a church in urban denver is getting ever so slowly closer.
• i won’t be doing the photography thing at coors field anymore. it was fun, but honestly, it just became so much of a hassle to get down there and back and the gas and the time… ugh. it hardly seemed worth it.
• i am doing a website and logo project for a new church plant in kansas. it’s interesting, because it’s stylistically different than projects i’ve done in the past, so it will force me to be careful about injecting my own style and just be a ‘designer’. i’m excited, because i think i have a connection to do this for all the new C&MA plants in our district. this would be a pretty cool little niche service to provide.

i think that’s all the capacity i have for bulleted lists at the moment.

overall, things are good. the kids are knee-deep in school, and so far i’ve managed to get by without having to get a “real” job. that doesn’t come without its price, but up until now it’s been good. if i can keep the projects coming, while continuing to explore the church-plant options… we could be ok. i dread tax season, because self-employment STINKS for taxes, especially because due to the tightness of finances, it’s been very hard to do appropriate savings for tax planning. ugh. but that’s a worry for april 2008. for now, i’m most concerned about putting away the funds to get back to the northwest for the holidays.

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join us next time, where we find our hero frantically studying macromedia flash in order to teach a class on it, one for which he is woefully unprepared.

it’s been requested that i post a photo of the federal theater in denver.

here it is… enjoy.

the monsters took a little time to play out in the snow. here is evidence of the ridiculous amounts of cute that followed:

rebecca is looking so grown up and pretty.

this is a perfectly zoe picture.

no one has fun like samuel. not to mention cheesy smiles.

from whence all this cuteness came.

this is in fact the pacific northwest. it is in fact snowing like crazy. i know, it’s being measured in inches not feet, but seriously. since when is there a cold, sub-freezing, snowy winter in good ol’ vancouver, usa?

thing is, i don’t mind it so much. when i was a kid living in colorado (speaking of places that have been destroyed by winter this year), we’d get these crazy snow storms all winter long, and one would snow before the last one’s snow would melt, but then the sun would come out, melt it all away, and then it would snow again. i actually got tired of it. imagine a 10 year old, tired of the snow.

we moved to vancouver, and it never snowed, we got lots of amazing warm rain (well, warm to me), and the one time it would rain/snow mix for 20 minutes the city would freak out and shut down, and it made me laugh. it was probably my first real experience with differences in regional perspective. and it was fun. and so i decided that i didn’t like snow, and every time we got it i complained.

in reality, i always liked the first glimpse of snow. it was pretty, it was different, and it reminded me of ‘home’. of course, it wasn’t many years before vancouver became ‘home’, and the snow just reminded me of another time and place.

fast forward to this year. it’s been cold. we got a decent snow, with some ice, then the temperature dropped into the 20s, where it’s been for almost a week. the air got dry, and it feels JUST like i remember the colorado winter. then, we wake up this morning to a crazy, constant snow. it’s the strangest winter i can ever remember.

and today, if i get ambitious, maybe we’ll just indulge zoe’s request to make a snowman.

i realize that i failed to complete the series on denver trip reports. i’m sorry.

to experience our journey in photos, visit my wife’s photogallery of the trip: clicky clicky!

i wanted to write something of a reflective post, because this has been a quite momentous year for our family. this photo really just makes me smile. one of the biggest things is watching my son grow from a newborn to the edge of toddler-dom. as any parent of more than one child will understand, i’m continually amazed by how a person is able to be so head-over-heels in love with a child, and then to have it happen 2 more times. i love each of my kids, completely and differently.

this year completes my first full year working at compass. this was a change that was a long time coming, and God’s timing in the execution was perfect. i’ve learned a lot, both in terms of who i am and how i work, and in terms of new skills for a new career. it’s hard to believe that this is really my third career… but each of the previous two, while i could have stayed in and developed them as life-long pursuits, did so much to prepare me for where i am now.

the rest of this post will come down in categories and notes, list-style.

Concert of the Year: Katy Bowser and Kenny Hutson, at our house. To have a musician that graced our living room and then opened for Allison Krause within the same 90 days… this blows my mind.

Emotional Moment of the Year: Drew left Compass. This felt like a kick in the gut, because it really came out of the blue for me. Everything has worked out, and of course God is bigger than any of that, but the way it all went down was a hard thing, and really changed the face of Compass in a dramatic way.

And the Grammy goes to… OK, so I won’t win a Grammy, but I put some serious effort into playing out, and am now only days away from completing my first solo CD. It’s not something I’m trying to get a record deal with, just an accomplishment I’ve been dodging for a long time now.

I left my heart… in San Francisco. Cliche? Yes. But it was so much fun to take the family to SF this summer. It was our first major roadtrip, and all 3 kids fared magnificently. I hope we can do it again soon. While we already knew we dug the area, we really found ourselves feeling very at home there. Will we be called to plant a church there someday? If so, I won’t complain.

Can I get an amen? Had my first shot at preaching this fall. I enjoyed it, and look forward to doing it again this January. It was certainly a stretching experience.

So that’s the short list of things that stood out about this year. Here’s the quick hits, without much explanation, so don’t complain if you don’t get it, this is for personal reflection, remember?

- new friends – Ray & Ruth, Brian & Mandie, Tracie, Max, Connie…
- reconnecting with old friends – Brian & Julie, Mike
- new obsession: poker. don’t mess with me.
- camping trips: 2
- major computer crashes: 2
- instances of worrying excessively over fundraising: 209388
- website redesigns for compass: 4
- freelance web design projects: 5
- podcasts subscribed to: 4
- podcasts created: none, yet
- hours spent playing poker: approx 100, and all in the last 2 months. i told you, it’s a new obsession. for my wife too.
- the year in sports, uberquick summary: Broncos – looking good. Mariners – awful. Avalanche – decent team, victim of new salary cap. Winterhawks – not that good, but fun as always.

and to top it off, WordPress 2.0 came out this week. i’ll be working on that install next week.

that’s it. this is my last post of the year. what will next year bring? i don’t know. that’s the fun of it, isn’t it? i’m sure i missed a ton of stuff, but it’s evening time, and i’m tired of typing. i’ve got some poker to play.

don’t get too drunk, have a good party, stay off the roads, and have a fabulous new year.