Ah, Total Beverage, the truth is I really do love you. You’re a liquor supermarket – a store larger than most grocery stores, selling all manner of wine, beer, and the hard stuff. You have a wine selection so huge, I really don’t know what to do other than pick something at random (which usually works out just fine). You get all kinds of yummy beers, from all over the world. Overall -you’re a great place.
So now that we’ve established that, let’s talk a minute about a couple peculiar laws regarding stores that sell alcoholic beverages here in the great state of Colorado.
Currently, only licensed liquor stores can sell anything with an alcohol content of greater than 3.2%. This excludes pretty much everything, except that many beer manufacturers distribute a special “3.2″ version of their beer – “near beer”, I’ve heard it called.
Any single owner (person or company) can only own one such store in the state. So this means that while Safeway can’t sell full-strength beer and wine, they can set aside and license one store in the state. So there is one location of each major chain that has its own full-strength liquor section.
Up until a couple years ago, these stores were mandated by law to be closed on Sunday. This was changed, and now these stores can choose to open on Sunday or not. Most do.
So that’s how things are in Colorado. When I first moved here, having to go to a separate store for my beer or wine (I rarely buy other liquors – which in Washington required a special trip as well, unlike California where a grocery store can sell anything and everything) was quite irritating. But I quickly learned that the trade-off is well worth it: selection. Because Colorado has created an internal industry of stores that specialize in beer, wine, and liquor sales, the competition has brought forth tons of stores that carry more than a few garden-variety beers. Where grocery stores are loathe to dedicate valuable shelf space to yet another obscure microbrew, stand alone stores thrive on it. It’s even paved the way for stores like Total Beverage, mentioned above, and Daveco – just a few miles from here, certified as the world’s largest liquor store. It’s like a Walmart of beer, wine, and spirits. I wouldn’t have it any other way – let the grocery stores carry everything, and soon the stand-alone stores will start closing, and before long we’ll have to make special trips to the few remaining out of the way stores to find the wealth of microbrews we can currently choose from.
So naturally, being a budding wine lover and an established beer geek, I’m on the mailing list for the Total Beverage store in Westminster. Today, we get an email about proposed changes in Colorado’s liquor laws. This happens every year – someone lobbies to change the system. And of course, the liquor store owners fight it tooth and nail. But rather than just tell us the truth – the truth we already know – Total Beverage wants to fight the changes because it will keep alcohol out of the hands of minors. The argument being, it’s easier for a minor to obtain alcohol when it’s more readily available in convenience stores or grocery stores than just the state-approved liquor outlets. Which is 1. ridiculous and 2. dishonest. Kids will get it where they can get it – most kids that are drinking are not out knocking off 7-11s and stealing the malt liquor. They’re getting it by way of fake IDs, or older friends, or careless parents.
If having fewer kids drinking is a result of Colorado’s current laws, fine. I’m ok with that. And Total Beverage, in spite of your ridiculous plea, I understand and support your position. I want to maintain the selection that comes from a more restrictive set of laws. So if you’re going to lobby against these changes, by all means, do so. Just don’t insult my intelligence by trying to tell me your motivation is so that “fewer kids drink alcohol”. It’s a lie, and lying liars really irritate me.
Now if you’ll pardon me, I have a sudden hankering for a hefeweizen.
